Why Does My Body Image Fluctuate So Much Throughout the Day? An Inside Look at A Day of Body Image Ups and Downs
If you ask me how I feel about my body at 9am and then again at 2pm on the same day, I’m probably going to give you two entirely different answers. I’ve known my body image to go from 0-100 one moment and 100-0 the next. As my awareness for my thought patterns grew in recovery, I developed a lens of curiosity through which I now try to examine my body image when these shifts happen. Before recovery, I subconsciously – and maybe consciously at points – interpreted my body image struggles to mean that there was something — or lots of things — about my body that needed to change. As my relationship with my body, food, and exercise started to heal, I learned that my physical body wasn’t actually in the driver’s seat when it came to my body image. Learning this didn’t halt my body image struggles entirely: I was still having days where the struggle with my body and body image felt particularly challenging. And this left me with a lot of questions.
Maybe you’ve had some similar thoughts or questions:
Why does my body image fluctuate so much? Sometimes I feel good about my body, sometimes I don’t think about my body much at all, and sometimes the struggle is so deep that I can’t think about much else. Body image can be shifty. For any and all of us at times. One moment you feel confident, and the next, you’re scrutinizing your reflection or questioning if you’ve gained weight and fighting the feelings of disappointment at the thought.
One thing I have learned throughout my recovery from an eating disorder is that if body image were simply about the state of my physical body, these fluctuations wouldn’t make sense—but body image isn’t about our bodies alone. It’s fluid and layered, shaped by thoughts, emotions, experiences, and even the smallest external triggers. So, it can be normal for our body image to fluctuate – even throughout the day.
An Inside Look at A Day of Body Image Ups and Downs
Morning: A Fresh Start?
You wake up and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. “My stomach looks flat this morning. Maybe I should step on the scale!” The number you see can set the tone for your whole morning—relief if it’s ‘acceptable,’ disappointment if it’s not. If you like the number, you feel like you can eat dessert later without guilt. It’s tempting, but you decide against the scale. Your “flat stomach” is enough for now. You pull a shirt over your head, only to notice that it feels weird… too small. Panic. Why does it feel small? You just wore this sweater a few weeks ago. You’re now acutely aware of your arms and torso in a way you weren’t a few minutes ago (when you were admiring your flat stomach). Take it off; switch into a longer and looser sweater. You feel better for the moment. You grab a coffee and move on with your day, feeling relatively neutral about your body.
Midday: Clothes, Comparisons, and Unsettling Thoughts
As the day goes on, you notice that your jeans dig into your hips in a way that wasn’t obvious earlier. “Maybe I have gained weight,” a thought whispers. I don’t remember these being so tight. A thought, followed by an exasperated sigh. You open your phone and start scrolling - a welcome distraction. One of the first posts you see is a friend’s gym progress picture. She’s celebrating hitting her 8-week weight loss goal. You weren’t even thinking about your weight before your jeans attacked your hips, but now the comparison creeps in. Your friend does look great. And she looks happy. She’s down 10 pounds, and you’re stuck there with jeans that feel like cling wrap. You know you need to fight against diet culture, and you’ve done a lot of healing work, but you’re tired. And uncomfortable. It’s only noon, and you’re not feeling so great about your body anymore.
Afternoon: Sweatpants and Pictures
You get home, change into sweatpants—a breath of fresh air; your body can exist in its natural state, free of restriction. This small moment of comfort gives you some relief. You’re feeling pretty good about your body. Then, your mom texts you a picture she took this past weekend. You are beaming as you hold your son, but you barely notice how happy the two of you look. The first thing you notice is the size of your arm that’s pressed against your side. You stare at it, analyzing, moving your thumb and pointer fingers out to the corners of your phone to zoom in. You can’t get past it. Your mom’s text flashes across the top, “Love this pic of you two - so cute!” You swipe it off your screen. Does my arm actually look like that? You wonder. Your chest tightens a little bit. You make a mental note to avoid short-sleeved shirts for a while.
Evening: Fullness, Reflection, and Lingering Thoughts
After dinner, you feel bloated—normal, expected, but uncomfortable. I must have eaten too much. You decide in that moment that tomorrow will be a ‘lighter’ day. But then, you remember that earlier today, you felt fine. Even though you committed to not weighing yourself often, you decide you need to right now. You step on the scale, and you feel relief when you see the number. This confuses you because you do still feel bloated and a bit “too full.” So why do you feel relief at the sight of a number? Maybe, just maybe, you think, how you feel about your body isn’t actually about your body at all.
Your Body Image is About (Much) More Than Your Body
Your body did not drastically change from morning to night, but your perception of it did . . . more than once. This is more proof that body image is not fixed—it is influenced by all sorts of things: external cues, thoughts, emotions, pictures, comments from other people, what you’re wearing. It can be hard to wrap our minds around the fact that our body image is not a direct reflection of the state of our physical body. Understanding this, though, can be the first step toward disengaging from the constant self-analysis and approaching thoughts about our body and body image with more curiosity and compassion rather than judgment and comparison.
So the next time you feel like your body image is on a rollercoaster throughout the day, pause and ask: What else is going on? Am I feeling a lot of pressure right now? Am I stressed? Particularly anxious? What thoughts, comparisons, or experiences might be shaping the way I feel right now? Our bodies don’t change drastically by the hour—but our emotional and mental state might, and that’s where the real work starts.
By: Erika Muller, Assistant for Wildflower Therapy LLC
All images via Unsplash
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